Sometimes I am hesitant to blog when it doesn't seem that I have something well thought out and worthwhile to talk about. Sometimes the everyday stuff does take on a life of its own and then becomes something to process and work through in writing form. Sometimes—I guess—a little can go a long way.

Such is today—a day when lots of things are floating around and seemingly just waiting for me to pull them out of the air and try and make some sense of them on paper.

As many of you know, I began blogging shortly after leaving a church that my wife and I had attended and been a part of for almost 22 years. And as you can well surmise, you don't just leave a building behind you but lots of relationships that seemingly get stuck in time if they even continue at all.

I was naive enough to think that a new church and some re-newed relationships would get all my ducks in a row and that things would be back to "normal" before too much time had passed. After a brief period of focused repair and releasing a lot of thoughts and feelings, I thought I had really turned a corner—and to be honest—in reality—had. But what I have found is once again the old onion analogy—when you peel a few layers away there are several more underneath those.

Are we ever fully free from feelings of betrayal or abandonment—of a loss that seems to never let you find a peace within yourself? I don't know at this point.

What I do know is that when I sense a nudging from the Holy Spirit, I am often "reluctant" for a time to consider it and still continue to try and let things work out on their own. And the answer to dealing with some of what life throws at us is not in avoiding the problem in hopes it will work itself out or go away or by mediating the issues of life with a glass or two of wine. Most of these techniques just tend to bury the feelings that are wanting to get out a little deeper. They don't go away until they find a place to dwell and find resolution.

Take for instance this scenario: Last week Sandi and I went to a movie premier of "The List" at which time we saw many people from our old church who had also been invited. To be honest, I really didn't want to talk with a few of them and spent most of my time in the VIP lounge before the movie talking with other people. I don't know about you but I don't like living my life having to avoid people and having the feelings about them that preceed this avoidance.

But at the same time—I am glad that I was put in this situation as it has given me a new slant on what is really going on underneath the surface of my otherwise "orderly" life. I firmly believe that the Holy Spirit allows us to see things that He is aware of in order that we might deal with them and be free from whatever it is that might be holding us back from being "fully alive". Am I sometimes reluctant to do something about what I see—yes. Do I have all the answers as to how to get to where He wants me to be (happy and fullfilled)—no I don't.

But a beginning has been made. I will lay off the wine for a while and allow the leading of the Spirit to direct me in the path I am supposed to take. And I believe that the answers I have been looking for (and also avoiding) will soon show themselves much as a new flower begins to bloom after a late frost.